hi, my name is celi.a. i had major back surgery at 16.

The other night I was thinking about my back surgery. Don’t ask me why it popped into my head (these things happen) – I don’t know the answer. And I was actually thinking not about the surgery, or recovery, or pain, or what-have-you, but the questions I asked the doctor in my last pre-surgery appointment. Random, right?

What came to mind was the memory of how surprised the doctor appeared to be that I was the one asking the questions, and that I was being an adult about it. My mom was there with me, but I was the one who’d written up the questions in my ruled school notebook. I asked how long my recovery would take, and when I could go back to classes. I asked if I’d be able to swim again (at that point I was right on the cusp of Junior National times). I asked if I would set off metal detectors. I asked about the risk of paralysis. I asked if I’d have pregnancy complications in the future as a result surgery. Wait, WHAT?

I wasn’t yet sixteen during those appointments, but I knew that I needed information. I needed to know not only how much it was going to hurt and possibly mess up my high school experience, but also how much it was going to affect my entire life. Whenever I look back at the questions I asked, how calm I was, and how much research I’d done, it brightens my day. Teens are smart. They can be careful, thoughtful, amazing human beings who weigh risks and imagine the future. And I know because I remember being one.

[photo found here]

I’m 26 now, and it’s weird. Ten years since surgery? I guess I supposed back then that I’d have a child by now. I don’t. And that’s okay. I still feel like a kid, I’m still figuring things out. And yes, I will probably always mark my life by how many years it’s been since surgery. Hard not to, when it was such a formative experience. And when I have a two and a half-foot long scar down my back.

But you’ve probably been wondering up to this point ‘What the heck is she talking about?’ Surgery happened because I developed a severe case of scoliosis by age fifteen. I was homeschooled during the years when you’d be tested for it in school, and by the time I hit my freshman year of high school, the hump of one shoulder was noticeable, but not horrible. Still, when I went in for the mandatory physical exam for swimming, they measured it and muttered and asked if I was in pain. I wasn’t, so I didn’t think much of it. I cut my hair boy short that year, dropped a lot of time in my best events, and spent my days with friends, playing cards by the pool.

The next year when I went in for the physical the doctor looked grave and told me I’d have to have surgery immediately. I listened in shock as she told me the scoliosis had gotten 14 degrees worse since last year’s exam, and that it was progressing at a rate so fast that it would impact my internal organs before I turned thirty. I started bawling. I couldn’t stop. I was fifteen, I had just qualified for senior regional times, I was going to be the best swimmer on the high school team that year. I was my class treasurer!

I was crying so hard that my mom ended the appointment and hustled me out of the office. She sat hugging me in the car for a solid half hour before she tried to talk it through. I think we were both stunned, because I remember her telling me over and over that there was no way I’d have to have surgery immediately, that we’d get a second opinion, that we’d do research, maybe I could wear a brace, but that it wasn’t happening today, right now. We’d find another doctor. Eventually I calmed down, but my only clear memory from that moment is “But it doesn’t hurt!”

We did get a second opinion, from one of the best orthopedic surgeons on the West Coast. And it was that man who told me that the sooner I had the surgery, the more correction they’d get. I didn’t have to have it immediately, but I shouldn’t wait long. And that’s how I ended up in his office that day, a week before my sixteenth birthday, asking him questions about not only my immediate future, but possible lifelong complications. My mom told me afterwards that she was proud of me for being so mature, for doing the research.

Looking back on it, I’m proud too. For myself, and for all teens dealing with things that aren’t fair. It’s a big reason I read Young Adult novels. Kids handle life-changing circumstances every day with dignity, wisdom and grace. And when someone writes a book about a teen facing these things, I remember my own story of something that wasn’t fun or wonderful or perfect, but was real. It reminds me that I am stronger than I suspect. Thank goodness, yeah?

married with zombies

I don’t know about you kids, but I’ve been pigeonholed. I’m the de facto ‘zombie girl.’ My friends text me photos of zombie books from the airport kiosk with taglines like “thinking of you.” I have a roommate who got invited to a zombie party, and she immediately told me I would be her date. My other roommate tells people I’ve barely met about my ‘zombie romance’ habit.

Okay, already! I am into zombies. And…yeah. That’s all. I kind of like it. Better to be zombie girl than nerd girl or smart girl or something equally amorphous or vague. BUT, just so you know, I draw the line at scary zombie flicks. Have never seen one, never will. Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead, yes. Dawn of the Dead, no. And now that we’ve cleared that up, let me tell you about the next awesome addition to the zombie canon, Jesse Petersen’s Married With Zombies.

A heartwarming tale of terror in the middle of the zombie apocalypse.

Meet Sarah and David.

Once upon a time they met and fell in love. But now they're on the verge of divorce and going to couples' counseling. On a routine trip to their counselor, they notice a few odd things - the lack of cars on the highway, the missing security guard, and the fact that their counselor, Dr. Kelly, is ripping out her previous client's throat.

Meet the Zombies.

Now, Sarah and David are fighting for survival in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. But, just because there are zombies, doesn't mean your other problems go away. If the zombies don't eat their brains, they might just kill each other.

Oh. Dear. Lord. What zombie-loving fairy went and made my day? Because I didn’t know it, but I needed zombie chick lit in my life. We already had the YA zombie novel, the YA zombie romance, and now we have the zombie version of crack cocaine for women. I mean, obviously not literally on the crack cocaine, but you know. Best of all? It’s genuinely funny. And PINK. I would die of happiness if I didn’t think there was a small chance of coming back as a zombie.That would be tragic.

Let’s dive into the story. Sarah and David are in a rough patch, and just when it seems like the end of the road, the world gets zombified. Suspend your right to disbelief, my friend. They HAVE to work together to stay alive. Lots of zombie slaying ensues. Will this working together have a positive effect on their marriage? Read it and see!

I think it’s clear by now that I loved the concept. Did I approve of the execution as well? Yes. Mostly yes. I really wanted to. DAH. I’ll explain. The chapter headings are really so hilarious that I giggled out loud. Some of the scenes between Sarah and David are truly heart-warming and/or funny, and there’s a lot to like throughout the whole book, even if you’re not into gore and zombie-slaughter. It’s just good old-fashioned silliness and slapstick in parts.

BUT, in the version I read (ARC, subject to change), the point of view seemed to seesaw between omniscient (i.e. We didn’t know this at the time, but revelation-that-kind-of-spoils-the-next-bit) and first person (i.e. I smashed his face in with a baseball bat). And I could have totally gotten those two confused with other points of view or grammar rules or something. I’m not an expert, so please-don’t-use-the-baseball-bat. And I don’t know if you were counting, but that’s one tiny irritation versus a lot of love. So this book goes squarely in the ‘like’ category.

Recommended for: fans of light zombie fare, anyone who needs a laugh and doesn’t mind a small dose of gore, chick lit aficionados looking for a laugh and a scare, and anyone who doubts they’d survive the zombie apocalypse, but dreams about being a hero/heroine with skills anyway. Enjoy!

I picked up an ARC of Married With Zombies at ALA, and I’m posting this as part of the September Zombies event at vvb32reads.

shades of milk and honey (+ giveaway)

I found myself proclaiming to my friends that I’d found ‘the perfect book’ yesterday. I didn’t mean that it was THE perfect book for all time and all people. I did mean that I’d found the book that feels as if it was written expressly for me, because it fits my tastes perfectly. And luckily for the rest of you, it’s also well-written, so there’s a chance that you’ll find it just as enchanting as I did.

Shades of Milk and Honey is an intimate portrait of Jane Ellsworth, a woman ahead of her time in a version of Regency England where the manipulation of glamour is considered an essential skill for a lady of quality. But despite the prevalence of magic in everyday life, other aspects of Dorchester’s society are not that different: Jane and her sister Melody’s lives still revolve around vying for the attentions of eligible men.

Jane resists this fate, and rightly so: while her skill with glamour is remarkable, it is her sister who is fair of face, and therefore wins the lion’s share of the attention. At the ripe old age of twenty-eight, Jane has resigned herself to being invisible forever. But when her family’s honor is threatened, she finds that she must push her skills to the limit in order to set things right – and, in the process, accidentally wanders into a love story of her own.

Shades of Milk and Honey is precisely the sort of tale we would expect from Jane Austen…if she had lived in a world where magic worked.

Kowal employs lyrical prose that engages all the senses. I could smell, taste, hear and see the living art contained in her work. Simply put, it is beautiful.

Reviewers are correct in that the setting of Shades of Milk and Honey corresponds to an observation of manners that Austen also featured in her work. It isn’t actually Austen, obviously. It won’t read the same way. But that doesn’t mean that Shades won’t please some Austen fans – it will. It’s reminiscent of Georgette Heyer as well, featuring an elegance of language and phrasing that reminds one of the brilliance of early 20th century minds (and the superiority of their educations).

It is not perfect – no. I don’t want to give anyone such an exalted view that they are let down when they read it for themselves. There are certain plot elements and characters that Austen readers will recognize straight off. But coming to the book as I did from the extremely high praise and recommendation of Elitist Book Reviews (whose taste I trust in almost all matters), I expected beauty, cleverness, and a certain luminous quality. I got all that and more. I felt sublimely entertained and edified at the same time. I feasted my senses and nourished my soul.

But there we go again into sacred territory. Let me explain: it’s perhaps not that it’s SO wonderful, but that it fed two very important parts of me, and a fiction book hasn’t done that in a long time. I’ve most probably been reading the wrong things, or expecting that edification is only the provenance of non-fiction. But it seems to me that good books, really good ones in both an ethical and literary sense, aren’t popular anymore. Modern reads always seem to have something to dissuade me: too much sex, too much violence, a credo or character that I can’t respect. This book skipped the objectionable, but held my interest. It taught me something, but didn’t feel like anything beyond a beautiful pastime while I read it. It was like a well-loved Alcott or L.M. Montgomery tale, without the obvious moralizing.

Oh, and it is so gorgeous! I have cover love to the nth degree, but the words inside and the book design itself…all conspire to make this one of the most beautiful and subtle and yet wonderful things I’ve seen in…ever. The only way I could have loved it more is if there were actual gilded edges. And I’m kind of glad there weren’t, just so that I won’t feel too precious about lending it out. Because this IS the sort of book I will evangelize for without any qualms.

Recommended for: historical fiction and subtle fantasy fans, Regency-era devotees, readers who view Austen as the comfort food of the book world, and anyone looking for a beautiful read with strong art overtones and a classic feel.

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I'm giving away two copies of this book, because I loved it, and I want other people to love it too. Also, when I tried to buy it at Borders I found that they’re not carrying it in stores. Travesty! UPDATE: Author Mary Robinette Kowal is completely awesome and is sending SIGNED bookplates for each winner. Hurrah!

To enter:

Leave a comment on this post with a word or phrase that makes you think of milk or honey. Synonyms, colors, associations, whatever you want – write it down!

Please include a method of contact. Giveaway is open internationally. Comments will close on September 15 at 11:59pm EST, and I will notify the randomly selected winners via email.

Good luck!

it's a zombie kind of month

Welcome friends, readers, and soon-to-be zombies. Don’t even protest at that last one – you know you’re not turning into a unicorn anytime soon (unless I have some REALLY unusual readers), and since the two options are zombie and unicorn, obviously you’re all going to end up as zombies. Wait, did I explain that it’s September Zombies Month? It is, and it’s going to be fantastic.

If you’re not a ‘zombie’ person, no need to unfollow. There will still be the regular programming interspersed with the undead lurching and giveaway-ing and other goodness. Zombies are just extra special content because it’s September.

The September Zombies event is hosted primarily by Velvet of vvb32reads. She’ll have posts up every day, and compile the contributions of the zombiettes (I’m a zombiette! I know, so cool, right?!). Check out the schedule HERE.

This month at Adventures of Cecelia Bedelia, I’ll be reviewing Married with Zombies and interviewing author Jesse Petersen. I’ll also feature a review of So Now You’re a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead, and of course, Zombies vs. Unicorns. If you want to check out the rest of the zombie awesome out there, remember to hit up the schedule.

Yay!