keep holding on

I have a bad habit.  And that bad habit is not talking about the books I read in between the YA and middle grade fantasy that I mention in reviews.  Oh, I’ll do it now and then – hey look, I reviewed a Sarah Dessen book…once!  And I really like Brendan Halpin and Julie Halpern, now that I think about it.  But usually I don’t write those reviews of contemporary YA.  And that means that you don’t hear about the Sarah Dessen and Susane Colasanti books that I gobble up as if they’re cotton candy.  Or the Georgette Heyer (historical!) or Betty Neels (charmingly innocent & old-fashioned!) romances, either.  But hey, today is all about the confessions.

It’s also about Susane Colasanti’s latest read, Keep Holding On, which I just finished.  And am reviewing.  Rightnow.

Noelle's life is all about survival. Even her best friend doesn't know how much she gets bullied, or the ways her mom neglects her. Noelle's kept so much about her life a secret for so long that when her longtime crush Julian Porter starts paying attention to her, she's terrified. Surely it's safer to stay hidden than to risk the pain of a broken heart. But when the antagonism of her classmates takes a dramatic turn, Noelle realizes it's time to stand up for herself—and for the love that keeps her holding on.

Noelle Wexler has been bullied for years, and she’s marking off the days until the end of high school.  Her home life is horrendous, her nemeses at school are making life hell, and all the while she’s having a tough time believing that there IS something better out there.  That she can be worthy, and move beyond, and even just keep holding on.  When events come to a head and a choice must be made, Noelle has to fight inertia and act – otherwise she might not survive.

Colasanti has written a book that faithfully replicates the voice and actions of a depressed, bullied young adult.  Noelle’s thoughts are honest and in cases self-harming, and the feelings they evoke are both horrible and true.  It is HARD to read these words – they are a physical weight and portray exhaustion with life, with trying to overcome, with making due.  It’s all scarily real.  And that is, by far, the triumph of the book – in making those heavy, hard things accessible and open to those who have never experienced them.

What are less-than-memorable elements, then?  The plot, Noelle’s fellow characters, the ending and the final character development.  Noelle’s story ends semi-happily and in a hopeful place, a transition that does not seem authentic in the short space of the book.  There’s a lot of happy-speak and positive self-talk that takes time to develop in real life, but which Noelle spouts off the cuff one day.  Noelle finds herself in a network of supportive friends – after being excluded and bullied for years.  It’s… wishful thinking.  Not dangerously optimistic, just unrealistic.

The unfortunate side effect of wrapping everything in a pretty bow after showcasing the very real horrors of bullying is that it makes the book less effective and less enjoyable than it had the potential to be.  Awesome bit: Noelle’s voice, especially in the first ¾ of the book.  Not as awesome?  The finale.  Although the reader is meant to feel hope and possibility at the end, there is instead a pervasive feeling of something along the lines of ‘deflated balloon.’  Weird mental picture, I know, but it fit (at least for me).

Recommended for: confirmed Susane Colasanti fans, devotees of Sarah Dessen, those who want to hear a genuine, hurting voice of a bullied teen, and anyone who likes their sad hearts completely mended upon conclusion of the story.

teaser tuesday (84)

It's Teaser Tuesday, a bookish blog meme hosted every week by MizB of Should Be Reading. Here's how it works:

Grab your current read and let it fall open to a random page (or if you're reading on an electronic device, pick a random number and scroll to that section). Post two or more sentences from that page, along with the book title and author. Share your find with others in the comments at Should Be Reading, and don't give anything vital away!

“She didn’t need to hear him gloat about how all his dreams—the ones they’d once created together—were about to come true.  Envy hurt exponentially more than heartbreak because your soul was torn in two, half soaring with happiness for another person, half mired in a well of self-pity and pain.”

p. 329 of Diana Peterfreund’s For Darkness Shows the Stars

bea: what i saw and how i conquered

I’ve been blogging for over three years.  Until this week, I had never been to Book Expo America.  I feel lucky to have been able to attend – it wouldn’t have been possible without a bonus at the start of the year and several vacation days from work.  For me, this trip was a luxury, one I wouldn’t let myself stress over (because those are VACATION days, dude!), and one that I wanted to do from ‘outside the box.’  Know what?  It was fun.

I’m going to lay out the elements of my BEA 2012 experience below, in case you want to borrow them for future planning.  And also because I met some great people and ate some delicious food, and those experiences bear recording.

1.  Take the bus, not the train (and if you have to fly, i apologize in advance, this is useless advice).  Even though I like trains best, the itinerary I would have chosen was just too expensive.  But it was okay – largely because of item 2.

2.  Bring a friend.  One of my non-blogging, real life friends joined me for the first few days of the trip.  She wanted to get out and see things and go to cool places and wouldn’t let me sit indoors and obsess about what author would be where and when.   We could also commiserate if we picked a bad table at the restaurant and ended up overhearing a bizarre conversation (it happened. little italy.).  That’s how memories are made.

3.  Get to NYC early.  We got to NYC on Friday night.  We went out that night and slept in the next morning, by which time we were ready for some Saturday sight-seeing – nothing too ambitious, mind you – we just checked out the Egyptian and American wings of the Met.  But while waiting for dinner that night we walked into an open artist studio night.  And the next day we dropped by the Brooklyn Flea and went to a Mets baseball game.  Going in without an epic master plan can work to your advantage.

me, freaking out over a sphinx at the Met

4.  Think about staying somewhere other than Manhattan central.  Like…Brooklyn.  You knew I was going to say that!  But seriously, I would attribute the majority of my ‘good times’ during BEA to having a cool place to go back to in Brooklyn.  I stayed with cousins, but you could consider renting an apartment for a week, and even the hotels themselves are a bit cheaper in the outer boroughs.  It does mean you have to take the subway to and from the Javits each day, but the distance was very freeing – I didn’t feel like I was locked into the madhouse 24/7.

5.  Plan your meals – with an eye towards quality.  You’ll be in New. York. City.  The place is teeming with great restaurants, and not all of them will break the bank.  Do your research and find great places to eat – that way you won’t have any regrets later about settling for something subpar.  If a restaurant meal isn’t in your budget?  Make sure you have plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables!  A couple of places we tried this trip: Nights and Weekends (for brunch in Greenpoint), Pok Pok (thai dinner in Red Hook), Roberta’s (pizza plus in Bushwick), Ample Hills Creamery (ice cream! in Prospect Heights), & Shake Shack.

6.  Have a signing schedule/plan for BEA, but be reasonable.  Prep yourself for changes, for being tired, and for the idea that things may not work out.  You won’t get every book you want.  But you will find that there are so many things on offer that you’ll end up happy.  Oh, and expert tip: go to one of the author breakfasts.  I heard they were all good, and Lois Lowry’s speech made me cry at the children’s one.

7.  If you have publishing contacts, reach out and see if they’d like to meet.  I don’t regularly correspond with many publishers – but I did email in advance and ended up having a lovely meeting with one publicist (it totally made my day).

8.  Check out social media for news about BEA and outside events.  I found out about the Teen Author Carnival and a NYPL Science Fiction, Fantasy & Music evening through twitter links.  And someone tweeted another link to a Facebook contest to attend a Carolrhoda Lab-sponsored author/blogger breakfast.  I entered and won – and it was fabulous.  I was invited to one other morning event that I couldn’t make, but KIDS, here’s the deal: I wasn’t invited to publisher parties.  And I still had a really good time.

left to right: me, Tessa Gratton, Brenna Yovanoff, Jen (A Book and a Latte) & Maggie Stiefvater

9.  Make sure to meet up with your internet friends in real life.  If you correspond on twitter or via blog comments, you probably have something in common.  Take the extra step and ask them to meet you for lunch, or simply introduce yourself prior to a panel.  I was surprised that anyone recognized me – but it was so lovely when they did (or when I did the same thing to them).  

10.  Mail yourself books from the USPS during lunch breaks, take advantage of bag check the rest of the time, and follow other great BEA advice you can find in preparatory blog posts. 

I enjoyed myself most when I was wandering around people-watching, not putting limits my time and not worrying about the people ahead of me in line.  Thanks to all of the authors, bloggers, publishing contacts (shout-out to college friend Whitney!), my friend Lauren and especially my cousins Isaac and Jess for making BEA and New York a fun time.  I heart you.

waiting on wednesday (29)

I’m participating today in "Waiting On" Wednesday. It is a weekly event, hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine, and its purpose is to spotlight eagerly anticipated upcoming releases.

I have an acknowledged thing for clever middle grade books.  I love the sparkle, crackle and wit of their precocious characters.  I like that they find ways out of impossible situations with very few tools and never, ever admit defeat.  Part of me hopes that their resourcefulness and self-belief is catching, and that I’ll become braver and better simply by reading the book.  Oh, and I hope I laugh, too!  Today’s WoW pick is a likely addition to this favorite subgenre of mine, and I can’t wait to read it.  Claire Legrand’s The Cavendish Home for Boys and Girls will be published by Simon & Schuster, and releases on August 28th, 2012.

Victoria hates nonsense. There is no need for it when your life is perfect. The only smudge on her pristine life is her best friend Lawrence. He is a disaster—lazy and dreamy, shirt always untucked, obsessed with his silly piano. Victoria often wonders why she ever bothered being his friend. (Lawrence does, too.)

But then Lawrence goes missing. And he’s not the only one. Victoria soon discovers that Mrs. Cavendish’s children’s home is not what it appears to be. Kids go in but come out…different, or they don’t come out at all.

If anyone can sort this out, it’s Victoria, even if it means getting a little messy.

What books are you waiting on?