black widow: forever red

I was a very lucky duck and picked up an advanced review copy of Margaret Stohl’s Black Widow: Forever Red at BEA this year.  I promptly read it and mailed it along to an internet friend.  While I jotted down notes immediately, I didn’t pull together the review until just now.  If you’re keeping score at home, that puts me several months from the reading experience, and with a slightly different view of the book and its merits.  Here’s what I know (now): Black Widow: Forever Red is a thrill.  It’s fast-paced, satisfying action from start to finish, and I loved the heck out of it.  Just don’t ask me to quote back any of the dialogue or narrate the fight scenes!

Natasha Romanov was once the world's most lethal assassin. Trained from a young age in the arts of death and deception, Natasha was given the name "Black Widow" by her brutal teacher, Ivan Somodorov. Now, Natasha wants nothing more than to leave that life behind her.

Ava Orlova is trying to live the life of an average American teenager.  But Ava’s life has been anything but average.  As a girl, she was experimented on by Ivan, until she was rescued by Black Widow and placed in the care of the US government. Ava spent years trying to contact her mysterious savior, but Black Widow has always stayed silent.

Until now.

When children all over the globe begin to go missing, Natasha suspects her old teacher has returned.  And Ava may be the key to stopping him once and for all.  But first Natasha and Ava will have to unravel their pasts to defeat the madman who threatens their futures.This novel features all the thrilling adventure readers will expect from the Marvel brand, backed up by the young-adult cred of #1 New York Times bestselling author Margaret Stohl. Uncover a new side of the Marvel Universe, accessible to old fans and new readers alike, as Stohl weaves an unforgettable story through the world of the Black Widow.

Ana is a teenage orphan who once was a pawn in a sinister experiment that involved the infamous Black Widow.  Alex is an impulsive, likeable high school fencer who sometimes feels like he doesn’t fit in his own life.  Natasha Romanov is a spy, a manipulator, and an Avenger.  She has avoided contact with Ana, even though she claimed kinship with her once, years ago.  That all changes when Ana’s and Alex’s lives intersect, world-changing secrets are revealed, and the Black Widow’s old nemesis rises from the ashes. 

TENSION! excitement! YEAH! (let’s talk about what’s going on in this book)

The writing encourages you to expect a certain outcome, but the story itself tricks you into forgetting that – so the reader should be surprised, even if they’re the type to half expect that a twist is coming.  Basically, Stohl is clever, and it comes out in the book in the best of ways.  There’s also a dual narrative voice structure to consider, with interrogation transcripts, flashbacks, and bits of memories (some of them unreliable).  As for pacing: after an action- and explosion-filled first few scenes, the story slows while new characters and mysteries are introduced.  It soon picks up again though, and familiar (beloved?)(people love Tony Stark and Coulson, right?!) Marvel characters make appearances as well.  It’s a fast-paced book with all of the scene changes an action flick fan could want.

Pros: The story is an easy read, the plot is high stakes, new characters fit into Natasha’s back story seamlessly (and you end up caring about them!).  There are satisfying action sequences, and the secrets, spy games and possible world-ending doom all meet and/or exceed expectations.  Add to that a tiny splash of romance, and the result is pure entertainment.

Cons: There might be a bit of reader drop-off in that one “slow” bit between the opening hook and the first action (where a lot of the exposition/set-up happens).  I’m also not sure how broad the appeal of a Black Widow book is. I think she’s a great character and anyone/everyone should check out this book, but if a reader hasn’t seen most of the big Marvel films to date, there may be some confusion as far as story context. 

That said, this book will delight Natasha Romanov/Black Widow fans of all ages, and likely convert a few interested bystanders into full-fledged Marvel geeks (like me). 

Recommended for: devotees of Marvel universe, fans of political intrigue and spies going rogue, those who enjoy plot- and action- heavy YA fiction, and anyone who likes the Mission Impossible, Bond, or superhero movies.  Requisite (sinister) Russian villain included at no extra cost.

Fine print: I picked up an ARC of this title at BEA for review consideration. I did not receive any compensation for this post.

illusive

One difficulty associated with being on the interwebs at all times is that I often can’t recall where I found a recommendation.  My browsing process goes like this: click on a shiny link!, read about book, decide it is for me, go straight to library website, place hold… perhaps leave a comment?  But most likely just close out the window/tab, and go on to the next blog post.  Related note: I need to keep better track of the reviews that inspire me to click – and eventually read – books! Credit *must* be given.  I don’t know where I heard about Emily Lloyd-Jones’ debut Illusive, but I do know that YA sci-fi + organized crime + superhero capabilities ticked several of my favorite boxes.  I picked it up from the library and read it straightaway (well, almost straightaway… $1.40 in fines is pretty much immediate in my world!).

The X-Men meets Ocean's Eleven in this edge-of-your-seat sci-fi adventure about a band of "super" criminals.

When the MK virus swept across the planet, a vaccine was created to stop the epidemic, but it came with some unexpected side effects. A small percentage of the population developed superhero-like powers. Seventeen-year-old Ciere Giba has the handy ability to change her appearance at will. She's what's known as an illusionist...She's also a thief.

After a robbery goes awry, Ciere must team up with a group of fellow super-powered criminals on another job that most would consider too reckless. The formula for the vaccine that gave them their abilities was supposedly destroyed years ago. But what if it wasn't?

The lines between good and bad, us and them, and freedom and entrapment are blurred as Ciere and the rest of her crew become embroiled in a deadly race against the government that could cost them their lives.

Ciere Giba is a seventeen year-old criminal in a near future where a devastating virus decimated the world’s population and its cure (the untested Praevenir formula) created superhuman powers in a tiny percentage of the vaccinated.  War is/was inevitable.  War between nations, war between regular citizens and the immune (those with ‘adverse effects’), and war between the feds and the crime syndicates.  Ciere lives with a crew of freelancers, working mostly art heists, when a series of jobs gone wrong and last-second decisions lead her into the path of the mob, the feds, and an even more dangerous foe.  Survival just got a lot more precarious…

Oh goodness, this book was fun!  It was a rush of a story, with fights, betrayals, identity issues, crackdowns, burglaries, puzzles, and rooting for the underdogs!  All of those things kept the plot and pace moving, and the writing was pretty great too.  See this bit, from page 137:

“Her heartbeat picks up, her pulse fluttering through her neck and wrists.  She loves this part, loves the moment before she pulls off a job—the heat, the cold, the rush.  It’s terrifying and delicious, like teetering out over the edge of a building, her fingers tight on the safety railing.  She can see how everything could go horribly wrong, but that rational part of her is tamped down, silenced by the beauty of the fall.”

If the idea of a cross between Holly Black’s Curse Workers series and X-Men sounds #awesome, then this is the book for you.  If you want gray areas in motivations, secrets that could break apart groups (and agencies!), and crime from the insider’s perspective, you’re golden.

That said, as soon as I put the book down, I started considering the setting (can we call it worldbuilding if it’s sci-fi?), and I noticed a couple of gaping holes.  It was one of those, “I liked the book so much!  But… now that I think about it…” experiences.  Hate that!  But let me tell you my quibbles (perhaps they will be insignificant to you!).  First, twenty years in the future was not that futuristic.  Cellphones, internet, cars, computers, GPS – they all functioned in the exact same way they do today.  Which, I get: write what you know (present day).  But this is supposedly the future, and I am (apparently) picky about sci-fi. Update those little details that give sci-fi an extra boost of imagination, okay?  Okay. 

Second (somewhat related to the previous point), the mechanics of identifying the inoculated and immune tested population… were so basic!  Plot point: people have to carry around physical identity tags, and if they don’t, they can get hauled away.  Identity TAGS.  No instant blood testing, retina scanning, facial recognition, chipping… nope.  This is a world where counterfeit = easy, because there aren’t even hologram drivers licenses.  I call foul.  Even if you take a hit population-wise, I don’t think the tech side of things would regress that much/unevenly.  Or at least explain why it has!

Other annoyances: the set-up is slow and confusing, so even though action is moving right along, Ciere’s world doesn’t come into focus until several chapters in.  This might tempt other, less-patient readers to put the book down.  Also, this story is just full of dudes.  Ciere is the main voice, yes, but she’s the only female with any significant part in the story.  That bummed me out, because the book did so well otherwise in the diversity stakes. 

YES, I’m here to tell you something good instead of complaining anymore!  Diverse characters!  Front and center.  And (I’m pretty sure? It’s not explicit, but I assume?) gay representation as well.  Also, though Ciere is the main character, you also see things from the viewpoint of Daniel, one of her crew, now forced to work for the other side (gasp!).  The dual viewpoints enhance the plot (100% more twists!) and character development, as each operation is ‘visible’ from both sides.

Concluding thoughts?  Illusive was a fun-but-flawed take on superpowers, survival, and honor (or lack thereof) among criminals.  If nothing else, I liked it because I like intelligent cons.  Even though I wasn’t completely satisfied by the final product, I want more.  I will read the next book just to see what Lloyd-Jones does with all of those loose ends.

Recommended for: fans of young adult sci-fi (light on the sci-fi elements) and superhero stories, and anyone who liked Holly Black’s White Cat.

the strange maid blog tour - tessa gratton author guest post (+ giveaway!)

Author Tessa Gratton is here today at Adventures of Cecelia Bedelia with a guest post.  Her new YA fantasy The Strange Maid features a girl who would sacrifice all to be a Valkyrie, and is set in The United States of Asgard, an alternate version of North America. The Strange Maid was released by Random House Books for Young Readers on June 10, 2014.  Check out the end of the post for a giveaway!

When Tessa was a kid, she wanted to be a wizard. Or a paleontologist. Maybe both.She’s neither now, but magic and monsters are still her favorite things.

Born in Okinawa, Japan, while her Dad was on duty with the US Navy, Tessa moved around throughout her childhood and traveled even more. She’s lived in Japan, California, Kansas, and England, and visited 4 continents.

After graduating from the University of Kansas in 2003 with a degree in Gender Studies, she went on to graduate school for a Master’s in the same. Halfway through, she ditched the program in favor of the blood, violence, and drama of  Anglo-Saxon and Germanic epic poetry and to focus on her writing. Tessa doesn’t have a graduate degree, but she did translate her own version of Beowulf!

Despite having traveled all over the world, she settled in Kansas where the sunsets are all in Technicolor, with her partner, two cats, and a mutant mutt named Grendel.  You can learn more about Tessa and her books at TessaGratton.com and on Twitter.

Welcome Tessa!  When we were talking about possible guest post ideas, I mentioned The Avengers… and you came through with a US of Asgard version of Captain America.  YUM.  I mean… yay!  *grin*

A brief history and analysis of Steve Josephson, aka Captain Asgardia, the First Avenger

  

Born to immigrants from Eireland nearly one hundred years ago in New Amsterdam City, with a frail constitution and parents dedicated to Tyr the Just, Steve Josephson seemed an unlikely candidate for such a shining and long-reaching destiny as the one woven for him. Perhaps Freya the Witch herself might have seen the knot, and preserved him through childhood illness and the deaths of both his parents, but she’ll never admit it.

When the misguided cult of Odin stirred across the ocean and began the Second Eurland War, the United States of Asgard tried to stay out of it, reverting to isolationist policies the government adopted in the wake of the Thrall’s War which had divided the country – and the gods – eighty years beforehand. But when news reached the Alfather and his administration that the cult in Deutschland had begun experimenting with super-solider serums in order to create their own cast of warriors to match the magically-born berserkers of the Alfather’s own line, the USA entered the war.

Though the Alfather’s priority was ending the offensive project, Thor Thunderer had always been a champion of humanity and equality and wanted to fight for the sake of the people of Eurland. He agreed with his generals who suggested soldiers as strong as berserkers but without their inherent weaknesses of madness and lack of control could turn the tide of conflicts for the rest of time. The Thunderer disliked secret projects, but reluctantly agreed to shelter a group of his military scientists who began looking into the super-serum. Though there was much trial and error, eventually Steve Josephson was chosen to receive the experimental dose.

He took to it mightily. Having already gone against his family’s dedication Tyr the Just in favor of the Thunderer, Steve had spend his life standing up to bullies and defending the weak – despite being weak himself. He proved to have the strength of heart and courage necessary to survive the serum, waking with super strength and a vastly improve war-machine of a body.

The Alfather was predictably furious, and refused to allow the newly dubbed Captain Asgardia to fight. Steve was relegated to raising money for the real soldiers, until he took matters into his own, super-strong hands and bucked the Alfather’s authority to follow his heart and favored god into battle. History shows us how he used his power to help turn the tide of the war, and though he did not survive the war, his ultimate sacrifice appeased the Alfather – the god of sacrifice – and Odin helped the Thunderer in later years to enshrine the name of Captain Asgardia as the ultimate hero of New Asgard.

Both while he was performing to raise funds and while he fought bravely as a symbol of Asgardian values, Captain Asgardia wore a uniform based upon the US flag: red, green, and blue for the highest gods, with wing-symbols for the Alfather’s bloodthirsty Valkyrie, lightning bolts for the Thunderer’s bravery, and red stripes for Freyr the Satisfied’s drive and passion. His shield was shaped by the last of the elves-under-the-mountain from their horded extra-terrestrial steel. Onto it was imprinted the Seal of New Asgard: blue and silver with a silver apple of immortality and nine stars for the nine supreme gods and nine Valkyrie and nine years of presidential service.

Though some have speculated after his death he was raised to the Valhol to become one of Odin’s immortal warriors, most agree his bones wait somewhere at the cold bottom of the ocean for the day when Thor Thunderer calls all his faithful servants up from death to join him in the final battle. 

----

Thank you for sharing that, Tessa!  I imagine I’ll be daydreaming about Chris Evans all day now (that’s what you meant to happen, right?!).

If this post has sparked your interest in The Strange Maid (or The Lost Sun, United States of Asgard Book #1), please enter the giveaway! Tessa will send a signed copy of The Strange Maid to one lucky winner, and a signed copy of The Lost Sun to another. TWO SIGNED BOOKS!  *happy dance*  To enter, simply fill out the FORM. Giveaway open to US addresses only, will end on Wednesday, June 18th at 11:59pm EST.  Winner will be notified via email.  Good luck!

Fans of Neil Gaiman, Holly Black, and Maggie Stiefvater will embrace the richly drawn, Norse-influenced alternate world of the United States of Asgard, where cell phones, rock bands, and evangelical preachers coexist with dragon slaying, rune casting, and sword training in schools. Where the president runs the country alongside a council of Valkyries, gods walk the red carpet with Hollywood starlets, and the U.S. military has a special battalion dedicated to eradicating Rocky Mountain trolls. 

Signy Valborn was seven years old when she climbed the New World Tree and met Odin Alfather, who declared that if she could solve a single riddle, he would make her one of his Valkyrie. For ten years Signy has trained in the arts of war, politics, and leadership, never dreaming that a Greater Mountain Troll might hold the answer to the riddle, but that’s exactly what Ned the Spiritless promises her. A mysterious troll hunter who talks in riddles and ancient poetry, Ned is a hard man to trust. Unfortunately, Signy is running out of time. Accompanied by an outcast berserker named Soren Bearstar, she and Ned take off across the ice sheets of Canadia to hunt the mother of trolls and claim Signy’s destiny.

Fine print: Giveaway books provided and shipped by the author.  I received no compensation for this post.

vicious by v.e. schwab - blog tour giveaway!

Today's post is part of the blog tour for V.E. (Victoria) Schwab's new release, Vicious.  It's a dark, supervillain-filled tale with mayhem and fantastic surprises.  Vicious was released by Tor (Macmillan) on September 24, 2013.

I don't know how she does it (okay, I have an idea, and I will expound on that below...), but Victoria Schwab, or V.E. SCHWAB as she's known for the adult audience, has the best fans.  And when I say best, I mean most fun.  The people I want to go to happy hour with after work, rather than my actual coworkers.  I know this because I stood in line at Book Expo America 2013 to get a signed advanced reader copy of Vicious, and that crowd was full of jokes, happy chatter, and smart people being extremely pleased and nice.  Maybe you've heard that people elbow each other in the throat to get sought-after books at BEA?  I've seen evidence of violence first-hand.  BUT.  Victoria Schwab's fans are seriously fun, and I think that bodes extremely well for her books.

If genuinely cool people get excited about a book, I need to know what's up.  Don't you?  In Vicious, Schwab's evil-genius of a novel, what's happening is AWESOME STORY.  Stay tuned to the end of the post for a chance to win one of three copies of the book!  Along the same line, Victoria has created Vicious trading cards, and you can check out her post to win a set for yourself.

Victor and Eli started out as college roommates—brilliant, arrogant, lonely boys who recognized the same sharpness and ambition in each other. In their senior year, a shared research interest in adrenaline, near-death experiences, and seemingly supernatural events reveals an intriguing possibility: that under the right conditions, someone could develop extraordinary abilities. But when their thesis moves from the academic to the experimental, things go horribly wrong.

Ten years later, Victor breaks out of prison, determined to catch up to his old friend (now foe), aided by a young girl whose reserved nature obscures a stunning ability. Meanwhile, Eli is on a mission to eradicate every other super-powered person that he can find—aside from his sidekick, an enigmatic woman with an unbreakable will. Armed with terrible power on both sides, driven by the memory of betrayal and loss, the archnemeses have set a course for revenge—but who will be left alive at the end?

If the book sounds interesting, please enter the giveaway!  Three entrants will each receive a finished copy of Vicious.  To enter, simply fill out the FORM.  Giveaway open to US/Canadian addresses, will end October 31^st at 11:59pm EST.  Winner will be selected randomly and notified via email.  Giveaway prize provided/mailed by the publisher.  Good luck!

Oh, and one last thing... the Vicious book trailer.  Because: reasons.  *evil grin*

Fine print: I picked up an ARC of Vicious at BEA 2013.  Giveaway prizes will be provided by Tor (Macmillan)   I did not receive any compensation for this blog tour post.

sidekicked

Reading slumps seem to hit randomly, with no regard for things I’ve promised publicists and fellow bloggers, or time off, or anything, really.  One snuck up on me at the end of July and has been firmly sitting on my chest for this first bit of August, too.  It caught me midway through John David Anderson’s middle grade superhero novel Sidekicked.  Luckily, that’s also the book that eventually broke me out of the slump.   Something special about the superheroes and sidekicks of Anderson’s tale kicked my reading apathy right out of the area.

With not nearly enough power comes way too much responsibility.

Andrew Bean might be a part of H.E.R.O., a secret organization for the training of superhero sidekicks, but that doesn’t mean that life is all leaping tall buildings in single bounds. First, there’s Drew’s power: Possessed of super senses – his hearing, sight, taste, touch, and smell are the most powerful on the planet – he’s literally the most sensitive kid in school. There’s his superhero mentor, a former legend who now spends more time straddling barstools than he does fighting crime. And then there’s his best friend, Jenna – their friendship would be complicated enough if she weren’t able to throw a Volkswagen the length of a city block. Add in trying to keep his sidekick life a secret from everyone, including his parents, and the truth is clear: Middle school is a drag even with superpowers.

But this was all before a supervillain long thought dead returned to Justicia, superheroes began disappearing at an alarming rate, and Drew’s two identities threatened to crash head-on into each other. Drew has always found it pretty easy to separate right from wrong, good from evil. It’s what a superhero does. But what happens when that line starts to break down?

Andrew Bean, or Drew for short, is not a normal middle schooler.  Oh, he’s been picked on, he can’t stand school lunches, and his mom still manages to worry over him to the point of embarrassment fairly often.  But Drew is hiding half of his identity – during 4th period science class three days a week he’s not just a kid – he’s a sidekick.  To a superhero.  He’s training to save the world. But mostly, the Sensationalist (aka Drew) is just trying to survive the year.  It won’t be easy to act normal with a new supervillain in town…

Drew is that relatable, introspective, verging-on-worrywart kid that we all were or knew in middle school.  He has typical problems (avoiding bullying, being terrible at organized sports, trying to figure out if his best friend ‘like’ likes him), but he is also pulled out of his teenage self-absorption by his talent and the code he’s striving to live by.  The continued absence of his superhero doesn’t make it easy, but he’s keeping his head above water until true danger rolls into town.

The best thing about Drew is his voice.  Anderson has written a sarcastic, smart and perceptive Drew, and it makes the whole story click.  Take this example, from page 44 (of the ARC version):

“Last week I read the fine print on a credit card application from forty feet away.  I identified the sound of a feather landing on a pillow.  I smelled one part lemon juice in five hundred parts water.  Sharks around the world, eat your hearts out.”

That understated humor thrown in with everyday (and not-so-everyday) observations adds to the sly charm of Sidekicked.  Lest female readers be dissuaded from picking up the book, I can assure you that while there isn’t a female voice, Drew’s best friend Jenna figures prominently.  She’s described through the lens of Drew’s experience, so there are a few layers of mystery, but this isn’t a boys-only superhero club – the most powerful superhero in town is Jenna’s partner, the Fox, a dynamo of crime-stopping and action.

Since Drew is by nature an observer, there are quieter bits in Sidekicked than I expected for a superhero book, but that doesn’t mean that the story lacks action.  There’s plenty of dangling precariously over vats of acid, plot twists, fights, losses of faith, keeping the code, protecting the cover story and, of course, saving the day.  It’s a well-written, satisfying, and wryly funny book with a great hook and an engaging teen voice.

Recommended for: fans of superhero stories, those who enjoy clever books with humor and humanity, and readers on the older end of the middle grade range – 10-14 year-olds.

Fine print: I received an ARC of Sidekicked for review from Walden Pond Press (HarperCollins).  I did not receive any compensation for this post.

top ten lamest superpowers - guest post by john david anderson, author of sidekicked

Author John David Anderson is here today at Adventures of Cecelia Bedelia with a guest post on the top ten lamest superpowers.  His middle grade superhero book Sidekicked was released in hardcover by Walden Pond Press on June 25, 2013.  Check out the end of the post to win a *signed* copy!

Ten Lame Superpowers and Why You May Just Be Better Off with a Good Utility Belt

Drew Bean, the earnest and often out-of-his-league protagonist of Sidekicked is both burdened and blessed by his extraordinary senses. While an excellent supplementary power, this is pretty much Drew's only power, and he spends no small amount of time lamenting on the lameness of being able to smell, see, and hear evil coming and being incapable of stopping it. In honor of Drew, I've made a list of superpowers which, in certain contexts, could be even lamer than his.

Disclaimer: These aren't the ten worst super powers or necessarily even powers held by actual heroes.  Naturally there are powers that are entirely undesirable (the ability to turn oneself into a diaper) or ludicrous (the power to vanish into thin air...once), so the following is simply a list of powers, imagined or real (which is to say, imagined by someone else), that wouldn't necessarily make a superman super and might leave you in worse shape than if you'd had them to begin with.

10. External combustion (i.e., flaming on): A staple of superpowers, the ability to surround oneself in an aura of flame makes for outstanding cover art and dramatic action sequences replete with smoke-filled skies. One must consider the drawbacks, however, namely the flammability of objects around you (just imagine battling in a paper mill...or a gas station) and the need for specially tailored fire-retardant underwear, which can't be cheap.

9. Talking to animals: First we should make a distinction. The ability to simply talk to animals does not grant you dominion over them. I can talk to my children, but I am often powerless to get them to obey even the most simple of commands (i.e. please stop sucking Jell-O through your straw). Therefore, while the ability to control animals would be awesome, simply being able to talk to them would probably be boring as conversations would run from "Can I eat you?" to "Please don't step on me!" to "Where did I put my nuts?"

8. X-ray vision: Granted superspies the world over would relish in such a gift, and it might bring down the astronomical costs of an ER visit for your kid's baseball injury, but there is a reason we have fences, walls, clothes, and skin. There are lots of things you just don't want to see. Like what's going on inside my stomach right now, and what most people really look like in the morning.

7. Rock form: While there are certainly stalwart heroes that are either primarily made of some rocklike substance or are capable of creating an exoskeleton of them, the ability to transform oneself completely into a rock leaves a little to be desired. While useful when battling hordes at the top of a hill, the lack of appendages, not to mention the lack of eyes, ears, mouth, nose, muscle, bone, weapons, and unassisted movement means you are probably just going to get stuck at the bottom of that hill after rolling down it.

6. Atomic farts: Literally the ability to create near nuclear explosions by means of one's flatulence. Naturally the hero with this power would concurrently be blessed with an invulnerable digestive tract as an added bonus. However the costs associated with the power, both in terms of ancillary property damage and potential loss of life (can you control your flatulence's reach and direction?), plus the heroes constant need for extra tights, far outweighs this power's utility. Plus it makes for awkward dates.

5. Self-replication: Imagine if there were only two of you. Or twelve. Fantastic. Except I personally have a hard enough time keeping track of me. Ever seen the movie Multiplicity with Michael Keaton? Me neither. But I'm guessing having multiple copies of yourself out there only leads to trouble or they wouldn't have made a movie out of it.

4. Magnetism: This is different from the ability to manipulate magnetic fields (ala Magneto). This is simply the ability to turn oneself into a giant magnet. Awesome when you can't quite reach your spoon at the dinner table, less so when the steak knife comes flying at you too. Really awkward when the family minivan comes crashing through the garage wall towards you giving a wide opening for all your power tools to head your way as well. Definitely a power you will want to learn to control quickly.

3. Sonic scream: Yes, I know it has its uses, but as a father I've come to realize the true agonizing power that high-pitched wailing can have on a person, and it is not something I would inflict on my worst enemy.

2. Liquefication: Yes, the ability to liquefy oneself is incredibly useful when a supervillain is about to blast you with an anti-matter ray and you happen to be standing over a sewer drain; however, turning oneself into a puddle has numerous drawbacks, including the "ewww!" factor, the potential for bystander accidents (slippery when wet), and the fact that janitors everywhere are suddenly your mortal enemies. "Mop-Hands Hannigan! I should have known it was you!"

1. Anatomical Liberation: I'm not making this up (see Arm-Fall-Off Boy, an honest-to-goodness hero in the D.C. pantheon): This is the ability to sever a part of your own body and use it independently of the rest of you (like having just your hand scuttle through a tiny opening to retrieve a secret document). However, this power does not automatically come with regeneration, so you have to find said limb in order to get it back, and it's possible that said body part may decide to split permanently, taking on a life of its own. Not to mention there are actually few body parts I would trust to just go off and fight crime without me.

Thanks for sharing your top ten list, John!  If you'd like to share your own lame superpower ideas or just want to find out more about Sidekicked, you can visit the author at www.johndavidanderson.org or on Facebook at JohnDavidAndersonAuthor.

You're interested in checking out the rest of the Sidekicked Superhero blog tour stops (they have giveaways!), right? Good!

Oh, and that giveaway I mentioned!  The kind folks at Walden Pond Press are providing one signed copy of Sidekicked for a lucky blog reader.  To enter, simply fill out the FORM.  Giveaway open to US addresses only, will end on July 27 at 11:59pm EST.  Winner will be selected randomly and notified via email.  And I'll just tell you now, you can earn an extra entry by commenting on this post with a lame superpower.  Pick one of Mr. Anderson's or make up one of your own!

With not nearly enough power comes way too much responsibility.

Andrew Bean might be a part of H.E.R.O., a secret organization for the training of superhero sidekicks, but that doesn’t mean that life is all leaping tall buildings in single bounds. First, there’s Drew’s power: Possessed of super senses – his hearing, sight, taste, touch, and smell are the most powerful on the planet – he’s literally the most sensitive kid in school. There’s his superhero mentor, a former legend who now spends more time straddling barstools than he does fighting crime. And then there’s his best friend, Jenna – their friendship would be complicated enough if she weren’t able to throw a Volkswagen the length of a city block. Add in trying to keep his sidekick life a secret from everyone, including his parents, and the truth is clear: Middle school is a drag even with superpowers.

But this was all before a supervillain long thought dead returned to Justicia, superheroes began disappearing at an alarming rate, and Drew’s two identities threatened to crash head-on into each other. Drew has always found it pretty easy to separate right from wrong, good from evil. It’s what a superhero does. But what happens when that line starts to break down?

Fine print: Blog tour and giveaway organized by Walden Pond Press.  I did not receive any compensation for this post.